Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Unlike Joe, I don't have a nemesis. At least I never thought I did, but apparently someone is out to get me, and I didn't realize it until this morning.

Yesterday before going to work I read this article about Batwoman. In case you're too lazy to read it, I'll recap. DC Comics is bringing Batwoman back from the dead with a twist. They are making her a lesbian. I've never been a comic book fan but I saw a link to that article, and who can resist reading an article about a lesbian superhero?

So I read the article and didn't give it much thought until this morning. On the way home from work I was listening to the local rock station when I heard the daily trivia question about this very topic. My policy is that I never call into radio stations because you either don't get through, you have the correct answer too late, or the prize sucks. Well today the prize did indeed suck, but after 25 minutes or so nobody had the correct answer, so I called in:

DJ: Goodmorning
Me: Hey! I have an answer for ya.
DJ: Cool, what's your guess?
Me: Catwoman.
DJ: No, that's not it sorry.. but you're soo close.
Me: ..... Grrr.. damn, okay.
DJ: What was your answer again?
Me: Catwoman.
DJ: Sorry man, you're close but that's not it. You've had the best guess so far.
Me: Okay, thanks.

You see, I didn't pay much attention beyond the words lesbian when I read the article, so I really thought it was Catwoman. Obviously the DJ was giving me a shot to correct myself and win the crappy prize, but I never even bothered to guess Batwoman because I was 100% sure it was Catwoman.

So they come back from playing a song and I get to hear myself on the radio sounding like a complete ass, how nice is that? Meanwhile I'm positive I had the right answer and I can't wait to hear what "correct" answer was. That took another 10 minutes or so.

I must have a nemesis. Who it is, I don't know.

What I do know is they need a kick in the junk.

Two Awesome Headlines.

A couple of stories I saw that I just couldn't pass up and felt like I needed to pass on:

STDs Running Rampant In Retirement Community

I can't really add anything else to this, its so funny (and sad) on it's own.

English radio station bans James Blunt songs

Man, I wish that would happen to the radio stations around here. If I ever meet Mr. Blunt I'm going to kick him in the junk. As hard as I can.

Promiscuous

I can't say that I've ever been a devoted Nelly Furtado fan, but I've got to admit that I'm digging both the song and video "Promiscuous".

The song is pretty different from anything I've ever heard from her in the past, and since she's teamed up with Timbaland there definitely is a hip-hop/dance flavor to the beat and lyrics.

Nelly's looking pretty tasty in the video, but one thing I don't get is why Justin Timberlake makes a cameo in the video. I don't hear him in the song at all, but he does show up in the video. I assume it's because he's buddys with Timbaland.

Check it out and see what you think. I'm sure you'll hear it constantly if you go out to the clubs this summer.

Federally Fucked, Part 2

Twice in 4 years the government has allowed my personal information to be stolen. I'm not exactly happy about this.

The first time it happened, "only" 550,000 of us had to worry that someone was using our information illegally.

This time pretty much anyone who served after 1975 is at risk.

We can shoot a missle half way around the world and put it on an exact street corner if we want to, but we cannot protect a single social security number. How sad is this?

Maybe I'll just post my personal data on my blog so that way everyone can have it.

See, what I meant was.. um... I don't know, I'm just stooooopid.

The other day I was causing trouble over on Juicy's blog and today I found another gem, so I just couldn't resist the urge to write a little diddy about it.

Natalie Maines, recording selling genius, part time political activist.

Most think I don't like this Chick because of her politics, but in reality its because her game is weak. It's one thing if you disagree with a person or policy and are smart enough to come up with a counter-arguement. It's another ballgame all together when all you can come up with is a glorified "I know you are, but what am I?.." retort. Look, I got off the Bush bandwagon a while back, so I can relate with people's frustrations, but at least come up with a good reason why you hate the man.

This CNN.com article illustrates the frustration people have with this lunatic.

The first single, "Not Ready to Make Nice," peaked at No. 36 on Billboard's Hot Country Songs chart, beginning its descent after just seven weeks. The second single, "Everybody Knows," is now at No. 50, down two places in its fourth week.

Well, that's okay because Natalie doesn't care what the "Country Industry" thinks about her music.

"Not Ready to Make Nice" performed only slightly better at adult contemporary radio, peaking at No. 32 on the AC chart and falling off after six weeks.

Well, crap.. looks like the non-Country folks don't give a shit either.

I wonder how long this whole thing becomes a centerpiece for a VH1 "Where are they now?" episode?

Maines was quoted in late January on EW.com, before the single went to country radio, saying: "For me to be in country music to begin with was not who I was ... I would be cheating myself ... to go back to something that I don't wholeheartedly believe in. So I'm pretty much done. They've shown their true colors. I like lots of country music, but as far as the industry and everything that happened ... I couldn't want to be farther away from that."
Maines also said, "I don't want people to think that me not wanting to be part of country music is any sort of revenge. It is not. It is totally me being who I am, and not wanting to compromise myself and hate my life."

Judging by the comments by Mark Evans, my guess is sooner than later.

"When an artist says that they don't want to be a part of that industry, it made our decision a no-brainer," program director Mark Evans says. "There are too many talented new artists dying to have a song played on country radio, so I'd rather give one of them a shot."

I wonder if a sex tape will surface soon, because someone has jumped way beyond the shark.

Myass

Tom can kiss my ass.

Supposedly it's cool to have a Myspace account. If you have one, then you can post about crimes you've committed, underage chicks you've banged, or death threats against coworkers/students you hate.

A small crew of non bloggers that I'm friends with have encouraged me to create a Myspace page so they could add me or something like that. I resisted their request for a month or so, but finally caved in simply because I was tired of hearing about it.

All I know is that Myspace goes down more often than a hooker in Vegas. I'm glad I didn't plant my flag over there, and it makes me not want to bitch about the odd occasion when Blogger acts up.

Burpin the Worm.

Sort of a drunk post here folks. Went to a local establishment to have some food and a cocktail or six...

Wings were marginal and I spent the remainder of the night with three women.

Yeah, I went home alone. The force is strong with me.

Ok, I'm starting to get freaked out.

I've never watched an episode of Lost, not even one minute of the show. Don't get me wrong, its not that I'm boycotting the show or anything like that. In fact, I was pretty interested in it from the very first commercial promoting the series premier. I'm out of the loop because I never integrate a tv show into my life schedule. Maybe I'll have to pick up the show on DVD someday, and give it a shot.

These ads for the Hanso Foundation and subLYMONal freak me out. Who goes to these lengths just to please fans? Is this the beginning of a New World Order? I'm keeping an eye on this stuff...

Well, that's the way it is.

I don't obsess. I swear. Occasionally I get a little pissy with the amount of (or lack of) traffic to my blog. Understandably there is a reciprocal relationship between the quality and quantity of posts and the hits you get, but I've always maintained that I do the blog for me, and if anyone else joins in for the ride it would be cool.

Having an audience is a pretty cool thing for the most part, except for the pressure to post on a regular basis just to feed the masses. It would be awesome to have a sitemeter report that looked a little like this:




















But we can't all live in the limelight.

If you're still reading this, it's your lucky day.. I have a special treat in store for you. Click the link and watch the video all the way to the end. It'll make your life more meaningful in every possible way.

Ever hear of Morgellons Disease? Neither did I until I read this article. I'm completely freaked out by it. I'd rather have AIDS, and I'm not joking.

Another little prize, because it's cool to be a Bush Hater.

Ahh, the pride of town.

It's not often that our little town makes the headlines at CNN.

And when we do, it's never a good thing.

Been a rough week.

* Our training class hasn't been able to get in much shooting this week because of scheduling difficulties, so we get the honor of more classroom instruction. Death By Powerpoint.

* After going shooting for nearly 3 weeks straight I think I'm going through withdrawls.

* I have this on going issue with one of my molars. Its more like a filling wrapped in tooth, and because of that, the tooth is pretty weak. I must've chipped it in my sleep because I woke up on Tuesday with a pretty impressive toothache. My life is about Tylenol and Orajel these days.

* Probably going to have to bite (no pun intented) the bullet and get it taken care of. My insurance doesn't start until next month. I'm thrilled with the prospect of paying for this out of pocket.

* Speaking of money.. you know what they say, "The more you make, the more you spend". Where in the hell is my money going? I hope someone has an answer because I can't figure it out.

* I managed to get a verbal reprimand the other day. 5 of us made the mistake of hitting up a local mom and pop sub sandwich shop on our 45 minute lunch break. Little did we know it would take the old geezer 35 minutes to make our subs plus the 4 that were ordered before we arrived. 9 subs in 35 minutes! We ended up getting back to class 7 minutes late.

* Despite that snafu, I've become a protege of sorts to one of the instructors. I've been getting some nods of approval and little side conversations about the good things I'm doing at work. It's refreshing and a nice change of pace. The last few years I've been looking over my shoulder and doing my best to hide from my supervisors for various reasons.

* My training is almost complete. Soon I'll trade in my mullet and rat-tail braid for a hobo cut, beard, and a saber color of my choosing.