Given the option, I always take the more difficult path.

I was going to write about this last night after work, but I thought a 20 hour day was long enough.

Yesterday I had the final step of my selection process. It included a physical as well as a fitness test.

The physical was what you'd expect it to be. Reading eye charts, testing for color blindness, hearing test, walk on your toes, walk on your heels, letting the doctor listen to your lungs, etc.

After all of that was completed, it was time to move on to the fitness test. The power plant has decided to use the YMCA 3 minute step test to evaluate your fitness level. Essentially you stand in front of a 12 inch box, step onto it with both feet, then step down to the floor with both feet. You have to stay with the rhythm of 96 beats per minute, equaling 24 up and down repetitions per minute. After doing this for 3 minutes you are allowed to rest for one minute and then your pulse is checked. For a male my age my pulse had to be between 101-106.

After completing the test my heart rate was 119. I failed the test and I was too far out of the range to complete a retest. In fact, they rechecked my pulse after about 3 minutes and it was still 119. My only remaining option was to complete a 1.5 mile run on a treadmill in 14 minutes or less. For active runners, this isn't a very hard test. I haven't run further than 100 feet since 2001 and I was very nervous about the situation.

I was sent to the waiting room to rest and relax and get my pulse back to normal resting rate. I spent about 20 minutes getting myself ready from a mental standpoint and got on the treadmill. As soon as they brought the treadmill up to speed I nearly panicked. I had spent the time to get mentally ready for the test, but I never stretched out. For whatever reason it totally slipped my mind. I had the nurse start the treadmill at the lowest possible passing speed, which it turns out was 6.5 miles per hour. I blew through the first 3/4 of a mile with relative ease but then my calves started to cramp up and things got progressively worse physically and mentally. Nine minutes into the test I was ready to quit. Everything seemed to be falling apart in front of me. I could visualize the job going down the drain. I had managed to pass everything up to this point and all I had to do was maintain the pace and push through to the end.

The biggest quality I learned during my time in the Army was that you find out that you can push your body a lot further than you'd think you can. Your mind will want to quit long before your body will. As I struggled to maintain the pace of the run that's what I started to think about. I knew I still had some left in the tank, I just needed to get rid of the negative thoughts my brain was screaming at me. I need some motivation to make it the final 5 minutes. What better to think about than money? This job means a $5/hr increase for me, it gives me a lot more options to do a lot more things for a financial point of view. It was the only motivation I needed. I got my running form back into shape, stretched my stride out just a little bit more, and got my breathing back into control. When I had two minutes left I started to feel the panic again because I could feel my body starting to fail on me. I've never been a strong runner, I haven't ran in 5 years and my body wasn't used to it at all.

Sheer willpower pushed me those final two minutes, and I passed the test. I cleared the final hurdle and for the first time in 2 or 3 years I felt a little pride in accomplishing something.

There was a funny (for me) moment during the physical examination that I want to share with you. The doctor that did the exam was a female. It occurred to me that I've had doctor's appointments with female doctors in the past, but I've never had to do the turn-and-cough with a female before. I was stripped down to a hospital gown and boxers and sitting in a cold room with this woman, and all I could think of was the Seinfeld "shrinkage!" episode. The doctor had remarked on how cold the room was and apologized a couple of times during the exam that I had to sit there half naked and freezing.

When the time came for the hernia check, the doctor blew on to her hands before fondling my nutties. I couldn't help but smile outwardly while noting that I just got a blowjob from a doctor.

I'll join the club.

On Feb 27th, 2005 I started blogging.

I'm not going to wax poetic about the highs and lows over the last year, but I do want to point out a couple of things:

1. When I started this blog I hoped that it would be something I'd continue, but I figured I would get bored with it and eventually delete it.

2. A year ago I would have never envisioned that I'd be where I am today, and for the most part, it's a good place.

3. I never thought I'd meet so many interesting people. I'm glad I've met each and every one of you.

Can't Touch This

I can't pass up the opportunity to point out this blog.

This isn't my new Featured Blog, but I have found one that I'll write about in a day or two.

Word. 2 Legit.

I want one!

But I don't have $6,500 stuffed under the matress :(

So I saw the psychiatrist today. Turns out it wasn't Cyclops Lady but a Dr. Phil lookalike.

On a happier note, I found out that it's okay to touch yourself while reading The Weekly Standard or Guns & Ammo.

Weekend Update.

I made it through the week relatively unscathed. It was harder handle the second day of classroom work (Wednesday) than it was on the first day. I had to score an 80% or higher in order to pass. I was really nervous about it because I kept falling asleep literally every five minutes. Luckily I had some good people around me to protect (read: poke) me so that I'd make it. I never really was completely out of it, sort of that mental haze you get before you drift off for good. I managed to get an 82% on the test, but should've had 90%. One question I circled the wrong answer instead of the correct one, and just managed to realize it. On two other questions I was pretty sure I had the correct answer but confused myself and read more into the questions than was necessary. I dont' sweat it though, I passed and that's all that mattered in the end.

I never did see the shrink this week. Me and a couple of other guys still need to do that for various reasons. My reason revolved around credit issues. I think I mentioned before on this blog that I was unemployed for a year when I moved to Texas. Every bill I had piled up and went unpaid for the longest time. After my divorce I worked jobs that barely paid the rent and put food in my stomach, so some of continued to be unpaid. In the end it's my fault, but I always feel compelled to explain it further. I want people to know that I'm only half a deadbeat.

I've been chipping away at this pile of debt, slowly but surely. Some bills are so old the bill collectors stopped sending notices or phone calls. Anyway, this doesn't sit well with the people doing the background checks and was a concern I had going into this process. With a few phone calls and a few arrangements it appears that it's all sorted out and I'll be called on Monday with a date/time to see the shrink. If this hurdle can be cleared, then I'll be back on the plant around March 2nd for respirator training and fitting, and then I'd be fully cleared and starting OJT on March 20th.

In my last post I said that I'd talk about the 3-D hand scan. Probably more fascinating in person, but basically one of the many entry control procedures is for all employees to have their hand read prior to entering certain areas. Somewhere around 80 points are mapped and recorded, and its verified by placing your hand inside a reader each time you go to certain parts of the plant.

I'm creating a new section on my blog for unupdated blogs. Most people would just delete them, but I'm keeping them around because I either hope they return, or the content was too good to forget about. Some have run their course (81 Vaginas, Darthside, IRR, etc.) others are just MIA (Immoderation, No Time for Later, etc.)

I'm also looking for a new blog to highlight. If you have any suggestions please leave it in the comments section. Thanks.

Dead Man Walking

My balls are really dragging. I'd post a picture, but I'm too tired.

Monday I was up at 5am, at the plant by 8 am (takes me an hour to get there). Fingerprints, breathlyzer, 3D hand scan (this was cool, more on this some other post), and piss test. Done by 2pm, went to my current job, worked until 2am. In bed by 2:30am, back up at 4:45am.

Tuesday was plant access training. Fail and you're out. Class starts at 7am sharp. I worried about it all day since I only got 2 hours of sleep. It was 6 hours of lecture on topics I've never encountered before. Fought the urge to sleep all day, figured I'd bomb the test. Managed to pull a 94%. Done at 3:30pm, off to my current job.

I just got home, and I have to get up at 4:45 again. Radiation training today. More lecture, another pass-or-go-home test.

Tomorrow and Friday is uniform fittings and teleconference with a Shrink. That should be fun, I'll have no patience left by the time I get around to talking to him.

I'm told my background check is complete and forwarded to the investigations supervisor for final o.k. before giving my potential new employer the green light. This takes a minor load off of my chest.

I'm so tired and would enjoy death. Why am I blogging?

Goodnight.

Running in place.

That's how I've been feeling all week. The company that is doing my background check has called me a few times with some routine questions. It's also appears they are more detailed than some of my previous background checks. That fact has created a little anxiety, simply because you never really know how things will turn out. This morning they called me again and told me they were waiting on a response from one of my references and my background check will be complete. Good news for a Friday.

No plans for the weekend here, hope everyone has a good one.

Monday the fun begins. Training all day, work all night, sleep 2-3 hours sometime after work. Try not to oversleep, try not to fall asleep at the wheel, try to be on time. Next Friday can't get here soon enough!

Dear Applicant:

Dear Mark:

Congratulations! You have been selected to become an employee of The XXXX Nuclear Services Division at the XXXX Nuclear Power Station. The hiring process had over 100 applicants and we took the best available candidates for the job. You are being offered a position contingent upon your successful passing and completion of the following:

• Medical Examination
• Physical Fitness Test
• MMPI Personality Test
• Drug Screen
• General Access Training
• Background Check
• Security Training

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now I have a week's worth of training, testing, and screening to see if I make the cut, starting Feb. 13th. Wish me luck!