Wet Dreams and Watersports.

Today I decided on a trip to the local beach to catch some sun and do a little swimming. The city hasn't cut the seaweed lately so I decided not to do any swimming. Didn't feel like getting tangled in it, so I got out of the water and spread out a towel to work on the tan for about an hour.

Mentally as I was deciding to leave, I was given a physical reason. I'm laying on the beach, eyes closed, letting the cancerous rays drill into me, and I hear a mother and child walk past. The kid was probably about as old as my daughter, somewhere in the 5-7 range, and she told her mom that she had to go to the bathroom. I didn't hear much beyond a grunt from the mother.

About 5 minutes later I shot up like I had been struck by lightning when I heard it. It being piss hitting the water. It being this girl who instead of walking into waist deep water, decided to squat and pull her swimsuit to the side. Now, I'm not naive enough, or find it gross that kids pee in the bay. Hell, I did it when I was a kid too. The mother had her back to me so I could get a view of the 8 folds of fat tucked into her one piece suit. I'm not joking here, I counted them. 4 on each side. Luckily for me, all I had to do was stand up, put my t-shirt back on, and I was ready to leave. Then the mother said something I couldn't quite understand to her daughter, who responded that she already went pee, to which her mother said "shut up"... as in "don't be so loud" or "don't let everyone know I was too lazy to take you to the bathroom that's about 100 feet away."

Bear in mind that this is all happening within 10 feet of me. I put my shirt on, throw my towel into the backpack, and said (loudly). "The fact that you made her piss in the water speaks volumes about how you look in your swimsuit. The bathroom is 100 feet away."

ZING!!!!

The nasty bitch didn't say a word. She just hung her head in shame. She thought she got away with it. I bet if I had tossed a jelly doughnut over by the bathroom door, she's have taken her daughter over there. I so wish I had taken my camera with me to the beach so I could've taken her picture for the world to see what a disgusting and lazy parent she is.